Juggling With Karmic Lapses

   Juggling with Karmic lapses

Its easier to blame others and jump from one childhood to another rather than take responsibility and grow up.                                            

                                                               November 2007 to April 2008   Cancer

History – Salina in her late forties was suddenly detected of having cancer spreading fast in her many abdominal organs. So far, there were no symptoms of the disease except that few years back she had suddenly developed a blurred vision accompanied by splitting headache. On diagnosis, one cyst was found in her head near pineal gland but it was declared benign. It would require making a hole in her skull thus left unattended.  Her headache had subsided within few months and she was her usual self again busy in her life .It was only two years back her pep smear turned out to be positive and  she was hurriedly  undergoing investigations and treatment plan. The disease spread rapidly and chemo showed little improvement. She had to be operated, which she very bravely withstood but to everybody’s disappointment, the disease did not subside but kept spreading. Doctors advised another chemo cycle but could not assure her whether this would be of any help. She was consulting every possible specialist in Delhi, Bangalore and even abroad. Though the doctors had almost sounded her that if second chemo doesn’t succeed, there is no hope for her.  Thus she started looking for some alternative treatment plan. . She started acupressure, magnet therapy, even homeopathy along with allopathic drugs. At this stage she came to me for healing.

Observation – She is a strong lady and have lived life on her own terms and now also she did not loose heart but wanted to live at any cost. She is highly intellectual and has in depth knowledge of  her disease. Getting no full assurance from doctors, she refused to undergo chemo. The doctors had threatened her husband and her that if she doesn’t undergo another cycle of chemo, she can not live more than six months and  he would be responsible for his wife’s death .She said, ‘the whole lot of doctors sat across the table and sounded verdict of my fatality as if we are the culprit and they are the jury sounding us the sentence for our crime ’. She was not happy the way doctors are so cold and emotionless to people suffering with such fatal diseases.

I started healing her, first three sittings there was so much negative energy oozing out from her feet and her mind was filled with darkness. Feeling of thickening and senselessness in her feet started subsiding slowly. She was so desperate that she wanted to have sessions with me every day, which was not possible for various reasons.  Gradually her clogged mind was being cleared and she could visualize some light for some time enter in her mind and fill in and around. She started seeing light enter in her troubled areas in abdominal cavity, which were covered with thick black energy. In third session when I was clearing her dark organs and guided her to view the cause for this black energy spreading there, she saw one dagger as if from her forehead towards her stomach. She said,’ may be I had killed with this dagger’ and I am flying as a bird in the sky .

Session – She is a non believer in past life and affects of past life has any thing to do in this life. Being intellectual and well read, I advised her to go through some famous books on past life especially Dr Brian Weiss. She purchased the book but did not get interested in past life book but started reading Luice Haze on positive thinking.  Her mind was ready to go back to the origin of the problem in her past life in her fourth session.

Once she started visualizing internally, she was having very clear pictures of the events of her past life and she was describing in grate detail every incident, surroundings, her body and colour of clothes she was wearing.

Sessions as experienced and described by her are as below

Past life   1 –                  I am shocked, ripped of faith and love

I am four five years old and in a palace, some foreign place, where people are chasing us. My parents are noble or small king of this place and because of draught, people are dying of hunger and in anger and frustration, people have ransacked the palace and are robbing . Thus the king’s family is being chased and they have been dragged out of the palace. In that confusion and scuffle I got separated from my parents and I am hiding behind one pillar. I can see that my parents are being slain by the furry mob. After some time when every thing settles down, my aunt finds me and brings me back to the palace and now she looks after me. Aunt’s son and husband are also living in the palace .I feel very attached to my aunt and look up to her for love and affection but now from this angle I can make out that aunt is very cold towards me,( now she can observe the difference in aunt’s  behavior towards her son and to her, which she could not make out at that time. She is being brought  up by them as she is the heiress to this empire once she is adult).

-I am a grown up beautiful lady; wearing a green long well fitted gown .I am walking down the long stair case in to one hall. There are many people dancing on the floor and I also join them for the dance .I am happy and enjoying the party in that big hall which seems to be in the basement of that huge palace. Suddenly I am frightened as if some masked man tried to attack me with a knife and disappeared in the crowd. He missed the blow but I am shaken very badly. I run upstairs , go to my room and call out to one lady attendant and show her my wound. .She attends to my wounds, which aren’t very deep. She consoles me but I am terrified. In the morning my aunt comes to my room and I go and hug her tightly and tell her the whole story. She convinces me that she will order an inquiry and find out who had done that. I am feeling very comforted by her words (but now I know that she wasn’t much affected by my condition nor looked worried , she did not take any effort to find out who has done this to me )(  this is what happens in altered and increased  level  of awareness , now she can observe things from another angle also not only what was presented to her . This is what is called be the victim and witness ourself. )

-I am watching down from the terrace the and I see a very handsome man coming on a horse towards the palace. I rush down to find out who he is? I like him and keep on looking at him; he too seems to reciprocate my feelings. He is handing me one letter saying that in this there is a  very important message  for me .As  he leaves the place , I come up to my room and put the letter on the table and forget to open it . I am filled with the memory of this handsome young man and remain lost in his thoughts. It is for the first time that I have seen such a handsome young man and had such feelings.

After few days, he is coming back again and is asking me to go out with him for few days. I am too willing to be in his company and immediately we set out for a far away place in the woods. I am very happy, we are enjoying in the company of each other. We are holding each other and suddenly the dagger is piercing my stomach through and through, I am still in his hands and am looking in his eyes with shock and bewilderment as to why he has done this to me?  He doesn’t show any remorse, he is thinking that I have willfully accepted this end to my life. He had written about his plan in that letter but I was too infatuated and lost in his thoughts that I did not read it. He thinks that I know why we have come here?. Finally he drops my body on the floor and leaves the place. I have left my body and watching it lying there alone wounded and smeared with blood.

He killed me in the morning but moon has hung in the sky and I am waiting there in shock, why this man did this to me? There is no physical pain but the shock , disbelief and emotional pain at being cheated by the people whom I  trusted and loved.  Much later, next day people come searching for us and finds my dead body there. My aunt is crying, showing much concern but I know that its all façade .I can recognize the dagger pierced in my body has got the picture of palace imprinted on it. (now I know that this was all planned by my aunt , even the last attack on me also was done under her direction because now I have become adult and am heiress to the big empire . She wanted  to get rid of me and become my  successor because for the outside world she only has brought me up so far and my property will  automatically be transferred to her . She wants to give the same property to her son which belongs to me.) They are taking my body for funeral ,there is so much crowd at the procession but I am not interested , I am only angry at my aunt ,why she did this to  me ?

                      I have been ripped of my faith and trust. I can’t forgive her

Healing – Her wounded body was being healed there and she could see blood slowly being washed and getting congealed with the healing light falling on it.  The body is looking healthy and I am getting up from the ground where my body had fallen. I asked her to forget and forgive what ever happened to her in that life. She shot back, ‘no, I just can’t do that, it’s not only the physical pain but she has snatched my trust in love. I can not trust any one now’. She was good to me initially, I think she did love me in my childhood and that makes it more difficult for me to accept it, why she is doing this to me now? I loved her, she deceived me. I loved that young man, I got cheated, it is for her that I have been ripped of my faith and trust. I can’t forgive her. Not able to convince her in forgiving her aunt, I asked her to see how her aunt had suffered because of her that ghastly deed? Because we have to pay back, what ever wrong we do to others .She went on to see and describe how her aunt is suffering in that life. ‘She is living all alone in one room. Her son whom she gave everything is not looking after her. Physically also she is unwell and she is suffering mental agony. Now she is repenting for what she did to me and in her heart and heart is asking for forgiveness from me’. As Salina had seen her aunt’s condition, which had generated empathy in her for her aunt.  So I asked her , can’t you forgive her now also ?She said ,‘ I think I can forgive her now , I am going to her and telling her that I forgive you what ever you did to me. But she doesn’t believe it to be true that how can I forgive her. Then you have to assure her of your heart felt emotions. She continued, ‘ I am telling her, ‘I forgive you for whatever happened between us,  but we will be always relatives ’.  She surprisingly said, ‘ I can recognize her now in this life also she is my aunt and she is truly concerned about me in this life. Recently she has undergone heart surgery and she has suffered a lot in this life too. I think I can really forgive her now.

Some fairy came and is taking my soul up with her in the sky. Now I am free from all the pain and sufferings for the moment. I can  even saw the name engraved on my  grave as Anjaline and year was 1700.

Post session - She wasn’t convinced how she would be benefited by viewing past life, though she was amazed at whatever was in her memory, which she could never even have imagined.

Session

Past life-2    

  I am forced to become a sati  but I don’t want my ashes to mix up with his ashes.

Slowly she transcended back to what seemed like a princely life in Rajasthan like place.  Initially she saw herself being burnt alive (made sati) custom followed in old time by Rajputes, where a wife had to burn alive with her husband on same pyre, showing her faithfulness, chastity and devotion to her husband. She continued, ‘I am helpless far from any of above reason, I don’t want to die, but I am tied down and made to sit on the pyre. I am angry at those people but I am so adamant that I don’t want to show my helplessness to them’. She had wasted her life also in anger and helpless state.

Moving backward in time to see the time and circumstances of her this  life, she said, ‘ I  am a young Rajput girl, wearing long colorful  skirt , blouse and long duppatta , usually we know  Rajasthani ladies wear .I am  in love with one Muslim sepoy  and we  both meets stealthily. One lady is watching us while we are together. I am requesting her not to tell any one but she goes and complains to my father who is a king of a small state.

My father is very angry and comes to my room. He is pulling me by  my hair and threatening me to get me married to some body within a week.  And I am being married off to one Rajput .He seems to know about my attachment to that Muslim lover. We are man and wife but there is no emotional bonding in me towards my husband. He genuinely  loves  me but my heart doesn’t permit me to accept him fully. Within a few days he is leaving for war front. I feel he just wanted to be away from me as he could not bear my cold behavior towards him.

I am just doing customary tilak and puja to my husband. Many ladies are lined up for this rituals (putting vermillion on their husbands fore head) and doing puja with diya. (a ritual done by Rajput ladies to wish good luck and pray for their men’s safety before leaving for battle field. )He is telling me, I am not going to come back but I will see that I will take you also along with me.  I did not follow its meaning at that time. Once he is gone , I am  back to  my  normal life, I am not missing him at all , I am playful and feel  now free to do funny little things.. Its eight nine months and the news of his martyrdom comes. I don’t feel much loss until I come to know that I have to be sati with him.  Now I am panicking ,  I don’t love him at all , I don’t want to die ,  I want to live and be with my lover but nobody is listening to me. I feel so helpless.

(this is the relevance of that life to this life. She wanted to live but society wouldn’t allow her to live and love her life. this time it is the disease and the remedy by science is not successful and doctors have given their verdict that if she doesn’t respond to another cycle of chemotherapy, she has not more than six months time to live. There is no body who can even give her false assurance because everybody is so conditioned by the intellectual knowledge that when her body is not responding to the treatment then there is no alternative to save her. ) but she is much stronger this time , in last life she was hardly a young lass without any say in her life . She had to follow traditions of society and had no choice in perusing personal wishes and desires. But this time she is intellectual and have mind of her own. She had rejected doctor’s offer to undergo another chemo cycle without any assurance of complete cure from them. She has even convinced her husband to accept her decision and he had agreed to it. )  

Death scene - I am internally seeking some strength to break free from this agony. I am yelling, protesting but no body is listening. My mother in law is a very brave lady, she has not broken down by the news of her only son’s untimely death .She is telling me , I am a Rajput lady and I am always prepared for this . She is wondering, you are so beautiful, then why your husband had left you and went away. Now she is also suspecting me, she says that she is feeling bad about me. She can not go against the custom. So she is preparing me for the sati.

At this I wanted to know about how she had been made sati? How is it possible for a living person to burn in the fire? Haven’t you been given some sedative to calm you, to sooth you ? As I had heard that, those ladies used to be in delirium when placed on pyre, that is why there were no protests and struggle. She replied, no, they have simply tied me down and fastened to the pyre .I am well aware of the happenings around and feel the fire burning and slowly my body succumbing to it. It was very heartening to hear from her that how she had  been burnt  alive on the name of custom, rituals and religion . Doesn’t the radiotherapy also burn the living cells? Chemo kills the much frightened and growing cells same way.

After death -Once out from my body, I am not going up with him.  I advised her to forgive and ask for forgiveness from her husband because of resentment she is suffering so much. She refused, no I can’t forgive.  I don’t want my ashes to mix up with his ashes.. He wanted to take me with him. I will not let this happen.

She adamantly announced, I am going back to my Muslim lover. He is so depressed and inconsolable at the news about my sati. I asked her, ‘can he see you and how long you lived like that with him?’ ‘No, but he can feel my presence. I instigated him to die so that we can be together. He pierced a dagger in his abdomen and died. Now we meet and go up and live happily in a beautiful place. We live and enjoy the freedom which was not there on earth. We live there for long but I have become very possessive about my lover. In between he seems to have grown up in awareness and he descends down and takes birth. I am left behind alone, I feel lonely and after some time I also decide to take birth again.

Next session                           I am ready to forgive but he is not

She saw her self in the same Rajput life again in detail, with the understanding from higher perspective. I am seeing myself in the water, though I am beautiful but now I am   seeing my reflection looks very ugly.

Before leaving for war my  husband is in the room with me , he wants to convey his feelings for me , he tries to touch me  and I  hurriedly get up from the bed  and stands at the window looking outside, not giving much attention to what he is wanting to tell me. I am  convinced that he truly loves me but I am  helpless in reciprocating his love as I  feels this would be deceiving my  lover. There is an inner conflict in me .At last he shook his shoulders and left the room saying that he will never see me  again. I did not understand it then but now I  know what he meant by these words. And at this she recognized this man is her husband in this life because now also he shakes his shoulders like this.

She was  also been given one opportunity by the pundit to run away with her lover but before she could take action, people came to know about it and  she failed in it.  

She could understand the meaning of his words, when he was leaving for war, he had said, I am not going to come back but I will see that I take you also along with me. He willingly died so that at least then she would be forced to become sati with him and he would take her along with him. In this session after seeing all these events from higher perspective, she was ready to forgive him. But he is not ready to forgive me.

(Though in this life their relationship is healed, they are happily married and she is full of  praises for her husband in this life.  But her body is not ready to accept and making her suffer same way as he made her suffer in the last life also subconsciously making him also feel guilty by suffering the agony of wife’s terminal disease .

Doctors warning to him ‘he  will be responsible for his wife’s death ’

I was reminded of the her narration of the incident when doctors gave their verdict , doctors had told her husband that he will be responsible for his wife’s death if he doesn’t prepare her to undergo another chemo cycle. Her husband had also agreed to her decision of no following treatment. She said, ‘as if we are guilty and they are jury announcing us our punishment. )I was imagining this reality that day it self that doctors are representing karma department and you both have been sounded this verdict from higher world. That is why they were not satisfied with the treatment, there was no satisfaction and end result was failure and suspicion. In this session she came to know many facets of her Rajput life . She was not the daughter of the King of the state but was adopted by Rajmata from a poor peasant. She can see now when she is living in a hut very small and Rajmata is taking her away. Which she did not know when she was in that life. She also recognized Rajmata as her present mother. (This revelation brought the feeling in her that may be that was the reason I had infatuation for the lower status Muslim sepoy because I myself was not royal blood.  This time she was seeing her Rajput life with the understanding deeper message in it and she too was ready to be her judge like seeing her ugly reflection, not being from royal blood making her fall down to lower status lower. Her husband’s love for her. And her recognition of the same man as her husband in present life.

Past life 3             I feel trapped inside the grave

After her lover evolved in awareness and descended down to take birth. She felt alone and bored there . She too took birth again. Again its an English setting and her parents are from army back ground. Her father lives away in the Army camp. She along with her mother lives in another place because of schooling. The setting is Indian and she recognized time of British rule in India as there are many Indian people working in their house. After high school exam, my father, who is a big officer in the Army, takes me to his Army camp just to show me around. And there I meet this elderly officer and my father’s colleague; I feel great affinity towards him. I feel so happy to have come to this camp as if I have got some treasure. I am always filled with the desire to be with him. I could not control myself and proposed to him from my side. He is quite mature and is shocked at my behavior. He is explaining to me that he is like my father, I should not think of him this way. But I can not live without him and he is not ready to listen .Now I know that he is my Muslim lover that is why  I am so much infatuated by him and he is taking revenge on me by not accepting my feelings . I had instigated him to take his life in past life, now his rejection is forcing me to think of ending my life as  nothing pleases me any more . Not able to come to terms with his rejection, I knowingly jump down the cliff. Some sepoy watches me falling down and rushes to help me out .But my body is damaged beyond measure. Feeling helpless he runs out to inform about the accident. Now people are collecting and my father is inconsolable. He is heart broken and also feeling guilty as how to inform my mother? She wasn’t willing to send me far away from her. Both my parents are very sad, I feel pity for them .Now I am regretting my action as I have caused them so much pain. But now I can not do any thing. My body is being lifted up, there is so much blood on that spot. Funeral procession is ready and there is sea of people around my body. Father is saying in Hebrew . Q-What is he saying ? A- I am not interested   I am only feeing guilty for my parents.  Q  At least now hear what he is saying ? A-he is saying, ‘now you go back and with Christ’.  Slowly my body is placed in the grave and people are filling it with mud, stones and finally plastering it from top. Out side Anjalina 1905 is written. I feel trapped inside. I am banging it from inside to open it but they have gone back. I feel frustrated and guilty for my action.

Healing – After I healed her from this memory , she said, now, my injuries are getting cleared slowly, I get up from the accident site .I am  going back to my parents and hug them and asks forgiveness from them . We all hugging each other and crying .I  feel relieved now free from the burden of guilt I had given pain to my parents.  She could recognize, ‘they are my parents in this life also’.    

 

I have to be born again to relive the pain.  

Salina

Third session she went back again to the same life in 1700 in a foreign country . She is in light green gown touching ground. She is entering one room, where some balled man is waiting for her. He has come to reveal some secret information to her. He is reading out some will, declaring her to be the heiress of some great wealth but warning her that her life is in danger. Now she can make out  he is genuinely her well-wisher.  But then she listened  to what he had to say  and walked out of the room not thinking seriously on it . And then same thing followed. Now she sees that letter which is lying in her room .she can read it now and can see that handsome had clearly mentioned his intensions that he is doing all this for money and he is no noble or gentleman as she had understood him to be. This time it was to show her that she was warned earlier by her murderer in his letter, which she never thought the need to open, instead she got carried away by his handsome , outward body. She did not feel the need to know him deeply before proceeding with him to a adventurous  trip .It is to show her that how she has been ignoring important messages coming to her to save her life ,but she is not giving any head to it.

Now I tried replacing her memory by changing the sequence and re scripting the event positively. She obeyed that she is taking help of her trusted alleys and going in to hiding in one of her old house. But my aunt finds it out.  I asked her to take that young person who killed her to her side , since now she knows what he had written in that letter . She could read that letter now, its written with blue ink,  ‘it says I am a bastard, not from a rich lineage as may appear from my looks. I like you, that is why I am informing you my intension and role. I am hired by your aunt to kill you and she is paying a hefty amount to me for this’.

I advised her , now you know his truth,  so you request him to help you , since you know that he likes you and he is not doing this for any personal revenge. You have money, so offer him the amount to save you. This way you will also help him from committing a sin  As he will be spared from the negative effect of the ghastly deeds that your murder is going to bring upon him. She said, but he is not agreeing with my proposal. When  I again forced  her further , she said ,‘but I am suspicious that he wants my property rather than protecting me. When she was not agreeing for any way to accept softer alternative offered to her to save her from the murder in that life, I had think of some other options, for a moment I was getting out of control  ,how to handle it now.

I directed her to go back to the origin of this situation , where she feels that inspite of so much help coming to her ,she still has to be murdered, there must be something more to add to this memory.

 Past life  4                                    My head is lying on Orangjeb’s feet

I am a soldier at present on a horse, dressed in short frock type shirt; the Rajputes wore long time back. I am the commander of a Mugal king. I am planning an attack on some Hindu king. In the battle field, I am on the chariot and there is blood shed and bodies striven all around.

I asked, ‘who is managing horses on your chariot’? I am alone doing that as well as fighting with the opposition. But I am feeling guilty. Q-‘Why are you doing it then’? A-I am forced to do it for my sister. Who is a keep of this Mugal king and she has two small children about whom nobody knows that they are his children. He has kept her as hostage and pressurizes me to obey him. But now I am going to surrender my sword back to him. As I am doing that, laying my sword on his feet, he got my head chopped. He is Orangjeb, I can see his shoes and my head is lying on it. I am out of body, I am helpless. I can not do any thing.

I have been asked to repent in heaven for twenty years for remaining  earthbound spirit

Wandering spirit - I go back to my sister minus my body. The king comes to inform her about me, and she catch hold of him by his clothes, asking him, why did you do this to him?. He throws her away and telling her that he did not obey me, it is a lesson for others too, so that no body dares to repeat this mistake again. He is ordering them to shift to another place. Now he is punishing them and put them in one dark hiding place. I am remaining with them, I want to protect them, but I can’t do any thing.  My sister is inconsolable; boys are very young and frightened. In the dark room they have nothing to eat, they can not see any thing, it’s a horrible place. I am doing something to help her come out of that hiding place -What can you do, you have no body ?

Miracle - I have opened the latch of the room and made her aware of such thing and she is intuitively opening the door. Finding it open she is running away with her two sons. I am also with them though not visible to them. I make one farmer sympathetic towards them and he agrees to keep them as help in his farm. Now they work on the field and boys are growing up gradually. Now they are young and have joined the King’s Army. My sister is old and alone. After some time she dies and we both go up in the sky. But higher up there one guide is very angry at me for remaining for such longer time on earth. But I am telling him how I could leave my sister alone? I felt responsible for her , she had brought me to earth . I could not follow what she meant by remaining on earth for so long. So I asked her to clarify. She replied, ‘after  physical body is no more, it is waste of time and a sin to remain hanging on earth and I had remained on earth waiting for my sister. Q-‘Then is there some punishment for that?  Yes, I have been asked to repent in heaven for twenty years.

  You are also there with me. We both are doing Sadhna for ten years

You are also punished for not stopping me from leaving my Sadhna mid way

Working karma in higher dimension –I asked  her , ‘who is asking you to repent ? I m standing in front of Karma Gate  and meeting Karma in charge .He is angry at me .I am telling him, how could I leave my sister there alone ? She had nobody else to help her. I felt responsible for her because she had brought me to earth, so it was my duty to look after her. He is telling me, ok, but you have to do penance. Q -What penance? A- I am asked to do Sadhna for twenty years in front of Karma gate. My sister is not with me, she has gone elsewhere. Q – Where is she , is she also punished because of your action? A-I am not aware of her any more.

I am sitting in Sadhna in higher world .You are also there with me. You are wearing black and white robe and I am wearing saffron orange. We both are doing Sadhna there. During Sadhna we function as a whole collectively with the universe, we don’t have individual identity .Once we come around from Sadhna, we both discuss our achievements and progress during Sadhna. (This was  news to me) She continued, ‘ after eight years something disturbs me and I leave Sadhna mid way . Q- What disturbed you? Some women soul, she is a prostitute; she attracts me and forces me to come out of the Karma Gate. We remain there outside for five years seeking enjoyment in each other  .After five years I realize my folly that we don’t have physical bodies , we can not feel through physical senses . I go back to complete my Sadhna but now I am sent down as parrot.  I am sitting on a tree. I live normal life and die of stomach upset. I go back to same place and sit for completing another twelve year of Sadhna. After that I come and take birth as a snake. I live a normal life of a snake and now nevla comes from some where and attacks me. There is a big fight between both of us. People have gathered to watch our fight. Finally I get killed by nevla .

I have to be born as child having cancer and die of it

I again go back to same place .Q- Which place? A- Karma in charge. Q -How does he look like? A- He has  a long  paper  roll  falling down from his hands . He is very thin looking and has got white mustache. Q- Does he have any name? A – I don’t know. ( I asked her is he the Chitragupt ,who keeps account of our karma ?  She wasn’t interested in my quarries rather keen to express her own observations. She said, ‘I am asking him , ‘why you sent me down as snake even when I had finished my penance? He is saying, ‘this was a curse from that prostitute.’ Then why did you send her as a female? He says, ‘she had already done penance on earth by being a prostitute’. I asked her to find out from this karma in charge, ‘ is your karma over now? No, he says that I have to relive the pain once again. I have to be born as child having cancer and die of it .I told her to ask him even after I am healing you still why you have to be born and suffer once again?She informed me that karma in charge is saying, even you(me) have to do ten years penance. Q- Are my karma not yet over? A- You are free from your karma but because you did not forcefully stop me from leaving my Sadhna mid way. You are also punished for ten years.(I was surprised and this confirmed the  truth behind our need to do some good deeds to society, self sacrifice , work towards  bringing  awareness in more ignorant people by preaching or healing them of the sufferings so that after healing they can progress further. Without  being completely healed one can not progress further and  merge in that Perfect Being) Now I had to rely on her for what ever was there in her mind about me , I had to accept  it as it  is and then decide how it can be changed. I told her but you only said that I had warned you. A- Yes, you had warned me that day because you could sense some negative influence coming to us .You had that intuition power. You wore black robe to protect your self and advised me to be care full and wear same colour. But I did not listen to you and kept wearing orange robe. Then that prostitute came there and I got attracted to her. So I did not pay attention to your advise and left Sadhna to be with her.  Q – It means what colours we wear have significance? A-yes, and you very well know it. Q-You did not listen to my advise so why am I being punished? A- You should have been more force full, you had that internal power to pray for me. (This highlighted the importance of praying for others to pray for them to see the light.) Q- But people do not listen to me, when I want to enlighten them of the truth I know? A – Because you have been punished, you have no power and people do not listen to you. You just advised me and then continued your Sadhna .You should have been more assertive .I asked her, ‘what’s your opinion about my intension of healing you now in this life. She said, ‘I feel you are doing tremendous good work, I am grateful  to you for your self les action.  But you should have done more there.

( I was intrigued at her revelation about working of karma in higher dimension. No wonder she comes to me for healing but do not believe in my system of healing and does not rely on me completely. Though I am the only person who is giving her this assurance that she  will be cured completely .She  also wish it to be true but her mind does not allow her  to believe  it. She did   not listen to my advice there, nor she listens to me here. And then she is blaming me for not stopping her force fully. Let her blame any body, but it is she ,who is suffering)  still as a healer I did not want any confusion left in her mind . So I told her lets us forgive each other and ourselves for what ever happened to us there, if it was my mistake, I ask you forgiveness for that. This will be helpful in helping you to accept my healing completely.   She said, ‘its ok , you wanted to make amends for your negligence there ,that is why you are healing me now

Our meeting has been planned from higher dimension

Was universe  giving me feed back as a reward for my  unconditional efforts in  healing  and apprising me of the tough battle ahead or  was she showing her gratitude for  healing her  inspite of her not  believing in my healing technique ? Was she being shown a purpose for getting a new lease of life ? Now she went on to elaborate our connection and her coming to me for healing. Our meeting has been planned from higher dimension. You wanted to heal me, as you could not save me there, that is why you agreed to do my healing, though we do not know each other here. Now she was saying some thing unintentionally and I was amazingly listening to her .

Forecast -She said,  ‘you are writing a book, but you have to work very hard to get it published and make people accept it. I will help you in this. I will go to people and share my experiences in healing and how I have got cured. They will believe me because I am living example to have fought death. You are also facing financial problem. Your husband is accepting you now, even your children are accepting but being kids as yet, some times they get distracted. Your mother in law has few days to live but she will not change .Your mother in law and younger son will not accept you fully. Your son will do well in Board exam. One of my daughters is getting married next year. I asked, with whom? She said, I don’t know that. And I was listing to her such talk. After the session I asked her, why were you  saying  all these things? She said  , ‘I felt some thing compelling me to say so..’

(My son was appearing for board exam but I wasn’t much worried about his result the way normally parents do. For me, the importance of board exam is  not in the grades but in the preparation for future life. And I wasn’t expecting him to do well because he hadn’t become serious and responsible.

Many had announced in their session to be helping me but so far no body has come forward. It’s only a direction shown to them from higher dimension that one of the ways to progress further in life can be by advocating healing or by becoming healer themselves. But it is not mandatory that they have to follow it. Every body has got free will.)

)   Some band type around my waist is not allowing healing energy to penetrate my body

Session – As she was taking chemo, and feeling miserable because of side effects yet she came for personal session. I directed the healing light to the part which needed it most. Because by now doctors had declared that her liver is  also involved. She saw the light is penetrating to her liver which is totally dark. I asked her to see the reason, why her cancer cell count has increased. She said there is one small ball type growth in my brain near pineal gland; it is creating the problem in my whole system. I asked her to see the origin of this growth, why and since when it is there? She said, I am back to the life when I am committing suicide. Q What are you seeing there now? A- My body is lying on the floor and my head is injured very badly, inside where this growth has evolved there is blood clot and it has formed the shape of this ball. Since then it is there. I directed healing light on that growth and slowly she saw it dissolving.  Now she remembered that incident when few years back she was having headache and this growth was diagnosed but declared harm less and left unattended since removing this would require making a hole in her head .Her headache had subsided after six months. But this growth had given its signal of something more serious to come. I was sure after healing that growth from her mind; it will stop creating discord in her body.

Next time I decided to heal her just by giving reiki healing. I was healing her and she was taking my hands to the part which according to her had pain and needed healing. She took my hands to her liver, her lower abdomen, where it pains  due to pressure as there is a cavity because her so many organs have been removed. The left out organs are falling from their position and pressing on to bladder and rectum  creating constipation  and pain  while urination  . I asked her, is healing happening at those places? She replied  , ‘ no there is some thing obstructing healing light to penetrating in to those  organs. What is it? Some band type around my waist. I asked her to see, why it is there?

Past life -She said, people are beating me on my stomach. I am a young African girl. I am hanged on the tree and my hands and feet are tied, I am being executed for some deed by the tribes.

Yellow and violet light is entering in my abdomen

Healing - I just gave her healing to erase this memory from her mind .She started seeing that her hands and feet are getting opened, she is being down loaded from the tree and she runs back to her hut. She is feeling free and there people are beating drums and dancing; she is also dancing and celebrating with them. She is feeling free and happy at last.  Now I asked her to view healing happening at that pace where that band was. She said, yes, now it has dissolved and yellow and violet light is entering in my abdomen. I told her, yes, now power and wisdom is reaching your cells and tissues .When we loose wisdom of our connected ness with  the higher power which is all pervading , our cells loose wisdom and feeling of separation and lonely ness make us feel victims of destiny, we scream , fight , to survive and to  seek connection back. When we regain that wisdom back our cells starts functioning normal healthy way. Every cell has got wisdom of growing, multiplying, eliminating toxins and helping each other to get connected to other systems in our body and to greater realities in the universe.

Band around my  stomach  does not allow healing light to pass in

Past life  5– This session I decided her to take to any peaceful and happy life because it

must be really upsetting her to be seeing only painful lives.  She said, I am standing on the stairs and thinking some thing Q- what? A- ‘I am thinking is it going to be of any use to go back to see any past life’. There also could be many reasons for her this skepticism. May be she isn’t ready to see any happy life because she must have misused her power there and now in all these lives she is paying back. Or seeing happy life is not going to help at this moment because she is suffering so much .So I started healing her  giving reiki . She started seeing that when I am healing her, the energy is only spreading around her body and it is going inside her stomach as arrows and hurting her because there is some band around her stomach which does not allow healing light to pass in effortlessly  . So I asked her to see it being getting cleared and also see the cause for this band so that it can be cleared from the origin. She reached to one of her past life.

You are my math’s teacher and you are very patient

She said, I am a small boy, chubby looking lovely child but I am an orphan.  I am dressed up as a dwarf; it is a fancy dress competition. I live in the boarding school. Q -Do you know any body there whom you know in this life. A- You are my math’s teacher. You have curly hair, you wear round spectacles .Your name is Galili. Q-Any thing particular happens to you there? I wanted to find out what is the significances of seeing that life? A- You are very patient, I don’t follow a sum and go to you again and you make me understand .Again I go to you but you have slapped me now.  I am feeling bad about it? (now she was directly addressing me there in her that life)  I am bit grown up now , I am curious about how the child is born, I want to know about birds and bees ,I have no family .I look up to you for any teachings ,so I go to you. But you are avoiding my question. You  are politely  telling me that this is not the right time and place to talk about it. We will sit quietly and discuss this topic some time later. But I am impatient, I can not wait, I want to know what attraction exists between man and a woman. Q – May be I my self don’t know much about it? A- You know it, though you are a bachelor but you had a failed relationship earlier. You think I am not at right age to know all this now  ,so you want I should wait for some more  time .But I  don’t have patience . I go to one elderly prostitute and tell her that I want to practically experience that hidden truth. She is warning me, she is a mature elderly lady not selfish one. I insist and I pay her, it is a mutual consent. I feel happy that I have the knowledge, which you did not want to share with me.  

I come back to you and feel like a winner. You call me and tell that come let’s talk about what you wanted to know.  I proudly announce my deed to you that now there is no need for me to know from you, I have experienced it my self. You feel bit upset but doesn’t say much and show me the door out.

I get infatuated by the prostitute who gave me experience in knowledge about birds and bees  

I become a lawyer working in a firm after finishing my education .I fight case for that same prostitute; she has been falsely fabricated of cheating a wealthy man of his possession. It is doings of this wealthy man’s relatives. But I could not succeed in saving her, she has been imprisoned. Loosing that case  has brought bad name to our firm. My boss is reprimanding me, he is telling me, ‘I had already warned you not to take that lower status lady’s case. Prostitute’s din’t have any rights then. They are looked down by society  to be very  low and mean. I loose my job. I some how have  got infatuated with her. I did not get married also. Once she is released, I go back to her, I want to marry her. I am much younger to her. She advises me not to be foolish and spoil my life. Better marry some body else. But I don’t obey her. I ask her to give me at least some place to live. She reluctantly gives me one room to live. I don’t have any thing to eat. Q- Doesn’t she give you  to eat? A- She herself doesn’t have any thing .Now I roam here and there for work but nobody gives me work because of my reputation of staying with a prostitute. She has also died now. Now I don’t have a place to live .

I go back to you, you are still in the same school. You permit me to stay there till I can arrange some thing for me.  I come across a countess and fight her case and win it . She is so pleased with my dedication and sincerity that she adopts me. (and she recognized this lady , she is Rajmata, it means twice she had adopted me .) Q- Can you recognize her in any other life? A- She is my mother in this life. She continued, I am well off now, she wants me to get married and settled down in life  but I can not think of any one with whom I can feel emotional connection ,the way I felt for that prostitute. Countess dies worrying for my future and lonely ness. I am heir to her wealth. I am again lonely. I  have made a trust of her wealth and take very little for my expenditure and rest is donated to Trust .You have also died by now . So I have no body with whom I feel some connection. I am living all alone.

I regret not having done any thing to my school

Death –I am growing old. I am going to kitchen to make porridge. I  bring the bowl and sit on the chair .The bowl is lying on the table. I see flashes of my child hood memory becoming alive in my mind.

Flashes before death. -I am a day or two old lying in front of the orphanage gate and one nun picks me up. I was brought up there. I go to see my bygone days passed in the school. I see the rooms and play ground where I had spent many years in my child hood. Now I am filled with regret that I should have done something to my school.  I did not do any thing, I had money   but I never realized the importance .Now nothing can be done, I am almost dead.

Now I am also remembering you and feel that because of you my whole life has changed in to unhappiness. Had you taught me what I wanted to know, I would not have gone to that prostitute and got infatuated with her. You took that knowledge, that part of me with you.

I blame you for my miseries and you are also punished to be a snake

Higher Dimension-After death ,I go up and you are there waiting for me. I am not happy with you. I blame you for my miseries and unhappiness. You are explaining that when the right time would come, I would have explained to you every thing. That was not the right time and place to teach you such an important knowledge. You needed to have more maturity to understand the significance of that important aspect of our life. But I am not getting pacified and you move away. That is why you have to do penance for ten years for not giving me the knowledge what I wanted to know.

Knowledge is life .So you are also born as a snake. To reassure her and accept my part, I said, now the justice is done, just for minor lapse on my part, I have been punished equally by becoming a snake, so you should not fret that you have been punished harder. But she got more upset and said, ‘no, but there is a difference in both of us becoming snake. I asked what difference? She said, you are a knowledgeable snake, you are in the temple around Shiva’s statue and people worship you. But I had been a normal jungle snake chased by many threats of life. I asked her what happened to this snake ( me)  She said, I just peeped where are you when I completed  my Sadhna, I looked around to find you . You were not there. I wanted to know, where you are and there I see you in the temple around Shiva lingam. Now I am no more interested and I am not looking at that event any more.

You want to teach me but I am not interested ,I did not act on it and I forgot

Afterwards we are again in higher dimension and you are asking forgiveness from me. Q- Did you forgive me? A –Yes, now I know it was not your fault, after all you had warned me not to get carried away and also advised me to  wear black and white dress but I did not pay attention to your advise. I forgive you now.

Now we both are discussing, you are telling me that we will share all our experiences and tell every thing to each other.

Q- What are our experiences which I am telling you we will share with each other ? A- You are telling me that in first five years of your Sadhna you will remember all your past lives and forgive every body from these lives. And you are advising me also to do the same. Q- Did you follow my advice? A- No, I did listen to you but I wasn’t  interested sort in it ,I did not  pay much attention and I didn’t act on it and thus I forget it.

Teaching her

( Now I got the point and I told her , this is your first lesson and your healing.  Your teaching is that you will still not listen, even if you are cautioned and given warning. You are not ready to accept it. Second lesson  is to learn to have  patience, there is time for every thing and every thing gets enfolded when we are ready for the knowledge. Your third teaching is that you are not to blame others for your ignorance, because if you want to seek, first you have to become capable of absorbing that knowledge. if you are not given any knowledge it means you are not yet ready for it. In first instance you did not get knowledge through right channel, because you were not considered mature enough to handle the information. You had no patience and you could not wait for right moment and went ahead to seek that knowledge by practically experiencing from the wrong place. Still you were lucky enough, that prostitute was not malicious but decent enough not to use you for her gain. But you got attached to her that you could not marry any body else and lead a healthy life there after. You had resources; you did not try to seek happiness by making a family to fulfill your obligation to society. You did not do any thing to your institution either, where you were brought up as an orphaned child. In the hour of need you went back to your teacher and he helped you but you still held him responsible for your life’s miseries. On earth you got attached to a prostitute and messed your life and in higher dimension you got distracted by another prostitute and did not pay attention to positive advice. Still you blame others for your miseries.  Because you have been following illusions. )

She accepted, yes, this is my learning and it is helping in transforming my life. I asked how is it helping you ? She replied, ‘my mother is reading Dr Brian Weiss’s book about Past life. When she doesn’t follow any thing, she asks me and I explain to her from what ever I have gathered in my personal experiences about past life. (She was still not tempted to read that book which I had advised her to read because she is highly intellectual and criticisive of situations .Any way it also turned out to be for good, otherwise she could think her imagination about past life getting influenced after reading that book.)  

Now I asked her to visualize her part at the liver where it pains and Doctors are worried that it may turn out to be cancerous growth. That is why they were forcing her for operation at that site. Now she could not see any negative energy or pain or injury there. She felt some vibration and slowly blue colour is entering that area. I confirmed that now there is no proliferation of cancerous cells and healing is happening gradually and will take some time to form new cells, tissues and replace the diseased cells completely at that place and in so many other places where ever she was suspected of having cancerous growth.

Why was I so much fascinated with past life?

(I could not help but reflect back ,now I wasn’t considering it a mere coincidence that each case from no where was turning up to me to reveal to me yet another dimension of life. Few questions were making me see more and more relevance in her revelations. Why was I so much fascinated with past life? Did I do Sadhna in the higher dimension about learning and forgiving people from the past life and here on earth I was trying to retrieve back that knowledge? She did not pay attention to my advice in higher dimension about remembering and forgiving people from past life so she is suffering here . I had shared my experiences there also with her so that she could be benefited.

Am I punished? As she says but she is saying it from her point of view because she is blaming me, she is not awakened yet to take the responsibility for her life situation.  But to clear misconception about her problems by blaming it on others, she has come to clear it her self. It is my reward that she is revealing to me all those mysterious facets of my life  which makes me stronger in my conviction  that  according to higher plan of things , I am suppose to share  this knowledge with others ?

Note – I had heard that experiential  knowledge  about self and  spiritual connection  does not end with death unlike  intellectual memory and  knowledge about material things, which tend to change  with the passage of time and place and gets erased and  ends with one life time . We are  sum of accumulated consciousness  collected through many life times experiences .The statement that  Death is a great healer , every thing ends with death is a  misnomer . Nothing ends with one death. Death just provides us some resting time, spare some breathing space, little recluse from on going struggle, so that we can get ready to fight again till we fully win the battle of imbibing all the virtues and winning all the vices .(the purpose of coming back to earthly life again and again ) We have heard but we are seeing now that miseries , pain, desires  does not end with death  but continues in another life times until erased by bringing transformation in  outlook towards life or working out positively, or erased by  healing it .

I now realize that even intellectual knowledge, logical reasoning and desire for material things and name fame does not die with life. History is a testimony to it. Some one born with genius brain, child prodigy , inheriting fortune, earning name and fame at a particular time in art, science, sports, film , politics . All this is nothing but individual’s constant striving in particular direction and when the fruit gets ready it  will bear the fruit . God or Destiny, planetary influences are not partial to any one. These forces or Being what ever we may choose to call them  are neutral .Good deeds are loved and bad deeds rejected universally . Thus are misfortunes, crippling diseases, fatal accidents, natural calamities are result of contemplation by mind in that direction   knowingly or unknowingly.

What one puts in one gets back.. Ignorance and poverty is a curse not an excuse. Doing knowingly wrong or not trying to know what is right , is a sin and the greater sin is not following what one knows is right and not share their knowledge with others. I want to emphasize again and again ,and clear myself from the sin which might have my weakness that I could not muster  the courage to share my knowledge with others.  

My most difficult case.   

Now I understood why she had been my most difficult case. Because subconsciously she is holding me responsible for her curse. Her logical mind is so strong that she can not accept any thing without proof of any scientific evidence. She was not connected to any guide in past many lives. She had been always given help but she had always been drawn to negative side, the sensual world and temporary realities. Even though she was coming to me for healing but she wanted healing done on her terms. She did not believe in past life so she did not feel it is going to help her any way. I had advised her to get her aura photograph done and also learn reiki, as I started her healing but she did not do so. Not getting any assurance any where she is forced to come for healing and she had tasted the relieving effects of healing. Initially she was so desperate and impatient that she was willing to have session with me every day . Her causes were very very deep and spread in many past lives, so she wasn’t getting immediate relief and seeing her many pain full lives was making her more bitter towards the whole situation.

After few sessions she discontinued her personal healing sessions with me. Though she kept requesting me for distance healing. To clear my conscious of the supposed blame by her and empathizing  her condition, I continued giving her distance healing. Her plus point was that she had strong will power and she wanted to live at any cost .That is why she was ready to try healing and other alternative techniques not out of belief or accepting them fully, but just in case she might get any support from some where. She has been questioning futility of seeing past life from the beginning. She wanted my healing but not through past life but when every thing else had failed and she had such strong logical mind , how could my unconditional  healing by Reiki break her mental barrier without her being aware .If her disease would be only physical ,it could have been cured  by operation and medicines ? if mental strength could  cure  ,then she would have  been cured by now as she has withstood all pain, side effects of medicine and clear warning by doctors about remote chances of surviving  as suggested by medical reports . yes, it was her strong will power which was making her undergo healing  irrespective of her non belief in gaining help from these . She has to be opened to another dimension of life other than physical world and intellectual faculty of mind .

In the mean time her cancer cells increased enormously high. She was threatened by doctors that she has very limited life span and she should immediately undergo another cycle of chemo  and operation ( were more  hidden causes  coming to surfacing now with so much healing  and giving proofs that there is so much buried  inside that is why she is not yet cured) Seeing no other way out she started  chemo and requested me for continuing her personal sessions. Because by now she had experienced the relieving effect of personal healing. I was also empathetic towards her because she had seen only painful past lives and was taking time to digest the truth. Though it was not easy job to heal a person who does not believe consciously in your knowledge and experiences .

I wanted to show her that God is helping us unconditionally by doing my best

.It was draining me a lot. She would be always counting her investigations ,cancer cell counts and her visits to famous specialists across the country. As if I am just to

 relieve her of her pent up feelings of frustrations and ill will against modern medicine and cold behavior of doctors.  I asked her that I will heal her provided she writes to me her experiences in my healing sessions and also go through Dr Brian Weiss’s work. I am not asking you to accept these stories to be true but just think it as an exercise. She never showed any inclination of doing any such thing. Still to do best from my side and out of compassion for her suffering or to  show her that God is helping us unconditionally, I started her healing wholeheartedly.  Heart in heart this thought was disturbing me that how people are easily drawn to negative influences, transient realities but very hardly to positive ones and greater truths. She had started reflecting the resemblance of her past lives to her present condition but bitterness in her was not allowing her to accept it openly. Still she was asking me how are these information from my past going to help in my healing?  But her healing was already happening, even when the Karma in charge says that you have to be born as a cancer child and die of pain. This showed that her past has been healed and by dying as a young child her conscious mind would not be very intellectual and carry forward memory of past sufferings

( is dying as young child suffering with serious condition since birth significant in healing the past lives and burying it altogether to live entirely a new life there after?  There after her new life will have no memory of her past sufferings.) But she was coming to me again; it showed that she will be cured completely in this life.  She was also having few guiding dreams which she remembered and narrated to me. I will be describing these at the end of her case.

After few months healings I wanted to know about her healing progress and I asked her in one healing session to see if she has been healed from the curse where she has to be reborn with cancer and die as a child suffering from it. She said, I am child and I am crying. Q- Why are you crying, is there some discomfort or some serious problem? A- I do not see any thing serious but I am crying just to get attention of my people around. I told her then there is nothing to worry because children do cry to gain attention otherwise no body will pay them more attention and interact with them. It’s a learning process while growing up. ( I was reminded how we humans are also crying for attention and some times we hurt our selves in the process . It takes much effort to get it healed and get out of this mechanical cycle of following same circumstances .) disease is a crying of the body for seeking attention. It is a message from our body that we are not listening to it as a whole .

Dreams –

1  She is dead and people are  mourning her death.

Her first significant dream was about six years ago when she could have never   imagined of her life taking such drastic turn in future . She dreamt that she is dead and people have gathered to mourn for her death. Though she could not see her body but she felt the people of present life are around her . It was a significant because she had been carrying memory from past life where she had cut life short by jumping off the cliff.  She would not have given this dream a second thought until she was diagnosed of cancer and after going through operation and still failing in coming out of her disease. It made her remember this dream and she din’t want this dream  to come true.

2 She is playing different sports

- When she was coming for healing she described next dream she had recently. She said, though I have never been a sports freak but I saw in  my dream my self  playing all sorts of sports dressed up in support dress. I am surprised but happy to see my self playing like this. ( it signifies that she has started taking every thing as a play, as a learning process.)    

- Another dream she remembers  subsequently occurred to her was as follows

3 I felt a snake bite prick     But  why was she bathing the snake?

I can see some body‘s back who is wearing shawl and is bathing one snake. I clearly remember the colour of the snake is black background with red and yellow shinning blocks. suddenly I  feel a bite ,pinch at the right back side of my  thigh as if a snake bit me there ..After some time I  see snake is coiled up in my lap.

(When I regressed her to see this dream during one session with the view of deeper meaning it wants to convey, she was seeing every thing as she had seen  in the dream but her question even in the session  was , why was she bathing the snake? I tried to explain to her that snake signifies a healing power that is why in most healing system even in ancient time and in medicine, the symbol is coiled up serpent. Snake sucks the poison which helps in healing.  Her bite pinch feeling could be signifying that snake had sucked poison from her body spread in her system. And snake in her lap could mean that now she has comfortably accepted this healing power of snake. ( healing is releasing  the negativity from the system and sending it to back to universe for purification and charging to be recycled again as pure energy)

4  I want to show  him the  presence of snake  on the tree but I  fail.

-She had these two dreams in one night and told me. ‘In my dream I can see a very old tree which is so old that its branches are not green but brownish. I can see a snake coiled up almost same colour on the branch of that tree. I am   trying to show it to my husband, the snake on that tree. But he can not see because the difference in colour is not very observable and thus he refuses to believe it. I am wanting to explain to him the  presence of snake  but I  fail. ( this has some thing to do with her experiences in past life. She can feel now that there is some truth in all this but can not make others understand as they are not even opened that much to the reality from another angle to this life other than physical and logical).

5   I  know that even this hidden snake can not harm me

-Same night she had another dream about snake. There is a snake in one of the room in our house. I tell every body to rush out. I am in need of something from that room, so I enter in the room as I know that even this hidden snake can not harm me. So I enter the room and see there is a Havan kund (squarely dug space for performing fire offering ritual of worshipping different deity) in the center of room and some things are cluttered like a fridge, suitcase in it. I see the snake is in the corner of the room, I slowly go and  pick up the thing and come out , closing door tightly so that the snake doesn’t creep out and frighten others.

( snake is also referred to our  Kundalini power , which is lying dormant at the center of our seat . thus room is signifying her body in the center where her Kundalini should be seated ,there is material junk cluttered thus the Kundalini is lying  in the corner .She is aware about its presence  and knows it is not harm full but because others are not familiar of its importance ,they are scared and she doesn’t want them to get more frightened by making snake sneak out of the door . She wants to keep this snake tightly shut inside her only .She is not ready to accept openly  or spread the mystic experience , she has become aware about)

6   Devil looking man has cut child’s hand but mother is nursing patiently  

Lastly she described this dream to me and wanted to know my opinion. ‘I saw that a devil looking man who is probably a farmer, he has chopped of his child’s right arm and left leg. His mother is sitting near by child. I am surprised that how a wife can tolerate such a man to be her husband because the mother is still silently nursing the child. As leg has been healed but still bandaged but arm is bleeding and lying separated. I am asking the mother in bewilderment how you can accept  this Devil so casually  ? Mother is showing me and telling that never mind it will heal, see the  leg has healed, so will the arm  be healed. And she silently keeps nursing the child .I am filled me with anger towards this man, and surprised by this lady’s calmness. (Either it has to teach her forgiveness, to get healed she has to be as forgiving as that mother. Or may be she was the father who had done that crime and now repenting by suffering her self.  And she has suffered so much that right now she is so judgmental that he is not even ready to accept that truth about him. She doesn’t have to be judgmental about any one)

7  Power of Crystal –  Devils hands are pressing and breaking away the crystal

Some times I wonder at the perfect situation,  and guidance I get ,when I am hesitant ,fearing  people’s  reaction due to their limited belief in material things and rejecting important aspect of mystic influences in our life . I did not discuss with her the importance of crystals for the same reason, though I was using crystals while healing her personally. One day she her self asked me, ‘my friend was asking me, why doesn’t your reiki healer give you crystal mala to wear? I asked her, will you wear crystal mala? She said, I don’t think so. I said, ‘then what is the use of  giving it  to you? Any ways at least try to wear small crystal locket. I charged it and gave it to her.  Next time she brought back that locket to show it to me that it had broken same day as it had fallen down from her neck due to loosening up from the hook. I convinced her  ‘don’t worry it is a good sign , it has taken so much of negativity from you. She wasn’t bit convinced by my explanation. I gave her another crystal to wear. After few days when I was reminded to give its proof to her, I asked her in the session to see the crystal which had broken what energy it had in it? She said, it doesn’t have any light, it is totally dark. I can see some dark hands pressing it . I asked her to see what these hands are? She said, Devils, hand! Yes, I can see a face dark and frightening, devil looking pressing this locket and stopping the light to emit from it . I dissolved that devils hands from crystal and she could see it shining and emitting light and spreading towards her.

Lesson-

1 She signifies the statement,’truth that sets us free ,we prefer not to hear..

She wants to get well and live at any cost but does not want to hear the truth behind her illness ie the past life influences. Which are very prominent in her case. Life continues under divine plan and God in the form of unconditioned love truly exists .Who provides us the grace in the form of healing. But those who are not connected to this higher wisdom they can not believe that  such difficult and complicated looking problems can be solved with simple and patient way . we are only required to make our selves ready for that divine love ‘ Grace’.

2 She was not connected to any guide in any of her past many lives  ,that is why she may be feeling living an independent existence. Though she was always given help from higher dimension in each life but she was not connected to her soul’s voice thus her logical mind always prevailed upper hand and she could not avail any benefit from higher wisdom.

3 Any chronic or fatal disease has some origin not in one but in many past lives. It is the result of misusing our body, cursing self or by  being cursed by others, feeling of revenge or remorse We get connected to excessive attachment, revenge, hatred, lust etc and we have to cure our self of these sins /vices .

4 What we resist will definitely persist. There definitely is a higher world irrespective of our belief and our energy bodies are connected there. There can not be any miscalculation in that dimension.

5 Wandering spirit is a reality, if one is not ready to make transition in to another dimension; one can remain lost on this earthly realm, hampering his further growth.

6 Suicides are caused by such strongly possessing spirits to take revenge or remain connected to the desired soul out of excessive attachment.

7 This physical body is a vehicle provided to us to continue our journey of life. We are supposed to carry forward our body in the condition we left in previous birth. Mechanical cycle of following same circumstanced has to be broken by becoming aware of our cosmic connection, the source of our origin and by  healing done  to reconnect back to the source for renewal.

Renal Failure               September 2007  Malini

Bodily disease means some blockage at the spiritual part

I Always rejected Jesus, Ma Durga is Hammering my Head.

History – 35 years old Malini was diagnosed complete renal failure by specialists and was advised strict diet control and recommended kidney transplant within two months. She had taken second opinion from many other specialists but every one voiced almost same concern. Thinking about restricted life style for self and for the donor post operatively, she had made up her mind not to do the transplant. But family and friends were compelling her to go against her wishes.

Family history -She was married at a very young age, and was quite immature initially.  Her in-laws always found fault with her. She had low self esteem and felt incapable of doing things correctly. She use to curse her self and wished she could die, at least then these people may realize her worth. Few years back she felt troubled by her son ,which was normal growing up process yet  her people were blaming her for her incapability in bringing up her children well. These remarks use to pinch her intensely.  All these emotions were piled up in her heart as pain and resentment for these people. When she could take it no longer, she resorted to religious practice and started following Mata Nirmala Devi’s Sahaj Yog .She is practicing pranayama, yogasans , meditation and have been having very deep experiences in her meditation   The positive out come of it is that she is  very confident that at any cost she is not going to opt for transplant.   Now with the diagnosis of such fatal disease, her people have changed , she feels they are concerned, but she can not forget those remarks, even if they call up to inquire her health, she feels irritated and upset as if they mean to remind her that she can not do any thing correctly and now she has messed up her life by creating this disease. Now she wants to get well and prove herself by rejecting their suggestion for transplant. In the mean time somebody recommended her to me for healing.

Healing First thing I advised her to take aura photography and consult Dr N K Sharma director Reiki Healing Foundation. He made changes in her diet adding more fresh fruits and vegetables almost avoiding all cereals and grains and milk, assured her that there is a possibility of getting cured without getting transplant.. At least she would get  one more person other than me to give  her positive feed back about healing capable of curing her from renal failure . Aura photo revealed negative band around her kidney, flow of energy was badly obstructed. Her condition was serious no doubt but she was very confident and optimistic and her family was forcing her against her wishes.  

I started healing her through distant healing as well as personal regression sessions.

First session -She visualized her kidneys completely healthy as she use to feel during her regular meditation spree.. Q-Why are you having this problem? She said ,‘my  heart is stressed as people are always finding fault with me, their remarks are deeply ingrained in my mind and causes bitterness in my heart. There is no energy in the heart and thus it is sluggishly functioning. While removing negative emotion from her heart, she felt pain and heat coming out from heart, it wasn’t easy to let go those inhabited emotions of resentment and hatred which was her self defense. She understands that these are causing more harm to her but feels unable to forget it. I made her aware that choice is yours, whether you want to cling on and suffer or release these and get healed.  I told her simply chant this  mantra , I forgive myself, I forgive you , I love myself and I love you .During the session I made her see how she feels when she speaks these words. She said, I am feeling very light as if some burden is removed from my heart. Now she realized the futility of forgiving and agreed to try to forgive and forget. I advised her to continue chanting it when ever she got time and specially before going to bed and while meditating. As I started healing, she felt some thing pulling and then black energy coming out from front and back of sacral chakra. In first session I  cleaned , healed and balanced  her aura and chakras.

Session 2 –She said that she can feel my distance healing reaching her. I asked, ‘how? She replied, I feel some vibrations and some colour entering my whole body and I feel sensation in my kidney area. In the session I asked her to see it clearly what happens when I am sending her distance healing. She saw, the energy is spreading on the whole body and then slowly it is coming to her sacral chakra and trying to break free the black band around kidneys. Now I asked her to see this black band break and allowing healing light enter her kidneys, but she saw the light is spreading at her heart area. There is a black spot at her heart. Why it is there? She said because people are always taunting, criticizing her for her inability to control her life. I asked her to forgive people and release this black spot in to the fire. She felt unable to do so because she felt intense pain and said how I can forget those twenty years of torture? I silently prayed for her and healed her heart chakra. Slowly she was feeling lighter and said, I know this psychological pain in my heart is making black sheath around my kidneys holding on to negative emotions and not releasing toxins. Which gets mixed up with my blood, making it look thick viscous unable to flow freely in the arteries and vein. Heart is stressed and sluggish .While healing she  could see violet light entering her blood and dissolving it  and flushing out toxins through urine ,breath and other waste from her body.

Her condition had improved a lot in past two weeks  ,her menstrual cycle had been regular now , which other wise has been irregular from the past two years and Doctors had cautioned  her that it will only be regularized after the kidney transplant . As the healing continued the light went right in to her kidneys. She saw some thing entering her kidneys. Her sacral chakra is very sluggish. As the green energy is entering her chakra and then to kidney .She can see kidneys are opening up as if they were pressed down with heavy pressure. Now they are properly filtering and as this is continuing her heart also felt freer and lighter  

Meditative experience – As she was regularly meditating, she said, I go very deep in meditation and suddenly feel at a very dark place, I get frightened and come around and open my eyes.

I regressed her to go back to that place again. She said there is complete dark here as if there is some thing beyond it but before that there is one dark block difficult to transcend it. After healing light started falling and dissolving that dark patch, she said ,I can see Jesus standing at a far away place wearing white robes and smiling and telling her that I am always there for you .  She reported, as I use to visualize him during meditation but I always rejected him by saying no, you are not there.( this block was created by her mind not to accept Jesus, who represents  very valuable virtue of our life ‘forgiveness and compassion ) ,I asked her why did you reject him?  Because I learnt from my mother and always believed in Mother Durga to be the supreme Goddess. She use to come in my dreams and assure me that nothing can harm me .

I asked, ‘since you are suffering now, so isn’t Ma Durga helping you come out of it? She replied, ‘yes, she is. I am sitting in Ma Durga’s feet. But I am much younger and wearing different dress, some thing like Rajasthani dress.  I am praying for her help. Ma Durga is hammering my head with Trishul (Ma Durga’s weapon)  she said, surprisingly  its not bleeding at all and I am also not having any pain. In fact now I am feeling very light and peaceful. I am getting up from there and walking up the hill and lo, I have reached at Vashno Devi temple. Ma is sitting there on a lion and radiating with light. I am touching her feet .She is blessing me on my head .She is embracing me. I am so happy and I am shouting out to others there , look ,look, Ma is here but people can’t see her. I am trying  to show them but they can’t see.  I am so helpless. I wanted them to see and believe but I can’t . (At this moment I felt chocked with emotions that she is reflecting my enigma ,my frustration ,helplessness as I feel while trying to convince people that higher energies, our God, Goddesses , Guides and Angels are always there, Pointing  the door to us but we are blinded by the physical eyes, hypnotized by material world ,we can’t see , feel and comprehend their presence ,we miss the important clues, hunches  they are giving us in chalking out the route to progress further in this journey of life ). I agreed with her that  yes, She is there and its not your fault that you are not able to make people see Her but their blind fold which isn’t allowing them to have a look at such a magnificent sight. I told her , you have met Ma Durga  ,why don’t  acknowledge, greet and be great full to Jesus  also for being there for  you always.  Because you have been rejecting Christ that is why you are unable to forgive and you are harming yourself this way. You have been closing very important virtue of your soul that is to forgive even your enemy. That is why you are facing this situation in life.  She agreed and said, ‘ yes, I have accepted him , he is in my heart , radiating  as kindness and pulsating as forgiveness . Ma Durga is in my mind. I asked her to envision her future, what future holds for you. She said, I have to do something great. Q-What, in which field? A -I have to teach true meaning of spirituality to people Q- How will you do that ? A- I don’t know yet.

Post session – She was very optimistic and was prepared to go extra mile to escape from kidney transplant. She also learnt reiki in between and was keeping her self fit with yoga and diet restriction.

Past life- I asked her to go to the origin of her this life’s condition reflecting in some other life. She immediately started seeing her self wearing a Ghagra and choli (skirt and long frock worn in Gujrat or Rajasthan) I am married and my present brother in law is my husband. My that life’s mother in law and husband are always criticizing me. I am filled with disgust and resentful towards them. Main reason is that I was Christian and my husband a is Hindu .I even left going to Church but  I could not accept the Hindu idols worship ,so my family members are also not  happy with me.  I am filled with guilt for leaving my religion and think that Jesus is angry with me for my this behavior  . I am praying to him to forgive me. But he is no where to show me that he has forgiven me.  He din’t help me , so I am angry at him and said , you are not  there . I have four children. In between we have gone to live in the city where my husband has started working and he has changed a bit. But this change was short lived and we are again back in the village with my mother in law. After some time I am living alone , my husband and mother in law are living together. Thus I am very lonely and sad. I die in my eighties of heart attack. Except my brother who is my brother in this life also ,no body is with me at the time of death. (her brother had even assured her of donating his kidney to her but he himself has got cirrhosis of liver thus he could not donate her )  Very striking resemblance to past life was that those who were troubling her are still troubling her and are troubled  themselves and the one who was supporting her is still ready to help her in what ever possible way he can do it . I tried to heal all those memories of pain and resentment. I asked her to see what is the condition of her previous life’s husband, because you have not forgiven him. She said, he is not settled in life. His children are also not supporting him. He is regretful whole life that he could not fulfill his duty towards his family.  By seeing his condition she was filled with sympathy towards him and ready to forgive him. She saw that once she forgave him , he will open up a shop and start doing business .

After session- in the session she was very convincingly telling her emotions and observation  but after that she was asking me what was this ? How could I be seeing all this? I tried to explain to her the significance of that life to this life .There after she did not go to any of her past life. I was healing her by directing her attention and healing to her heart and kidney .She would see the colour entering while healing, improvement happening in her kidneys.

Negative future projection- She was seeing her causes in the present life now, because she had also projected this illness for the future as she herself had told me that until she became devotee to Mata Nirmala Devi I always wanted to end my life.

-In one session she her self went to her near probable future. She said, I am in the hospital to show my improvement to doctors. I am telling them that I am completely healthy.  They are not believing and threatening me of dire consequences if I don’t immediately get transplant done. They have called my father and husband in, and are discussing with them. Both of them are coming out with crest fallen faces. They are trying to make me understand the gravity of the situation and forcing me for the transplant . I am falling weak in front of them as I feel they love me and are genuinely concerned about me.  I healed this picture from her mind by scripting it positively. I asked her to see the situation changed.  She herself went on to see something different, which again she had created by her negative attitude. She was only seeing it because it was getting healed.

- She said, I am in the hospital and doctors are surprised by seeing my positive reports . They are not telling me any thing more. I walk out from the room like a winner. But out side my father and husband and relatives are running here and there. I asked, now what   happened? After observing for some time, she said, it’s my brother. He had come to do check up as he was going to donate me his kidney. But he has been diagnosed with cirrhosis of liver. He is in emergency. I am very sad at his condition. I healed her this  future projection.    

-There is telephone from my mother from Dehradoon. She is asking me to come soon as my grand mother is very serious .I am crying , I love my grand mother very much and I can not see her suffering and dieing .I tried to argue with her that if she is old enough , she will have to die one day and  you have to accept this truth . But she refused to accept that truth by saying that I can not see her dieing. I can not see her in pain. I love her so much. I told her then you better heal her by sending her distance healing .You will be healing her of her pain and you will be healing your illusions and your karma of feeling so much attachment with her . She agreed.

-Now I am in a party, people are looking at me and making me feel very uncomfortable . Q- Why? A - They are looking at me with some suspicion  Q – What suspicion ? A they are thinking and discussing that how is it  possible that I can be cured of such grave condition without transplant .Q How are you, are you healthy? A- yes, I am healthy, but people are not ready to believe. Q Who are these people? A- They are my husband’s colleagues and some foreigners, its official party . Q- Then why don’t you convince them, because you have experienced it your self, tell them its past now. I am healthy in front of you. I am a testimony to miracles and living proof of it. As she did so she felt people changing their opinion and admiring her for her courage and accepting her version and are convinced totally.   

What ever she had projected for her future was being released and she was being made  aware of it . It was her critical mind which was not  able to get convinced that when all the allopaths have opinioned the same thing how can then any thing else prove them and modern science wrong. Modern science doesn’t believe in miracles. Nor do we believe. We create miracles by healing. Filling up the gap caused by negative thought  ,replacing it with positive and progressive thought energy. If she had created this disease from her past painful experiences and also continued projecting these into future, we have to simply erase these from past as well future to make healing complete.

Healing Dreams -She was having dreams in between which I had asked her to keep noted. Some times she was seeing herself climbing up the hill and reaching at the top . every body is dissuading her that she should not do so because she is sick and can not do it. But she wants to prove to them that she is alright and can climb. At last she had reached the top and feels happy.  This was to show her that people will try to pull her down by projecting their suspicion and discourage her, so she had shown her determination and will to win the race.

-She is walking along with many people with high heeled sandals. Some body is warning her that, you may fall. She is care full not to tumble down and get hurt.  (This was guiding her that she still stands at a crossroad where she has to balance and be care full. )You will have to bear people’s criticism

Healing in higher dimension -Once in her regression I asked her to see healing happening in higher dimension .She said, yes, my body is lying very high in the sky , one saint is doing my healing by projecting different colour light on my body. I asked her to ask him, ‘are you healed or you still need to undergo transplant?  She said, he says,. Yes, you are completely healed there is no need for kidney transplant. Q- Then why doctors and others are skeptics and discouraging you to change your opinion? You feel very troubled by their remarks. A- He says,  ‘ you will have to bear people’s criticism and opposition for one year more till you can really prove  to them by remaining healthy and confident that you are completely cured. This is your learning as well as duty. Q -Ask him, how can you get that strength to remain unperturbed and be peaceful? A he says, I have already arranged for that. I asked her what he has arranged.

Dream- She said, now I am seeing a dream. I am sitting in my room; I am looking out of the window. Under a tree I can see one lady in white aura around her . She is looking towards my window. I have gone to the door and opened the door for her. Now she has entered my room. She is there to give me strength from now on wards.

(what is the meaning of her this dream ? was this some another healthy  more powerful  soul  being sent to support her ? I have also heard a phenomenon called walk in ( where another soul enters in to a living  body for various reason . this is not like haunting ghost or possession but is always done with the mutual consent of both the party . she did not feel frightened but very confidently opened the door and let that lady be in . she knows that she is sent to support her through difficult trying time.  Our physical body is a vehicle and much work can be achieved by it if properly used. And there are many more spirits than physical vehicles.

or is it she herself after getting completely healed in higher dimension being resurrected in her physical body  ? I am only presenting my observation because what our life is can not be explained in totality by any amount of intellectual knowledge. Its only a trial , as physical beings we are just counting the pebbles at the shore what lies in the depth of sea is much beyond comprehension of this physical body and intellectual mind.  

Spiritual block – Her case is typical spiritual block created by her religious beliefs conditioning in her mind. She was Christian and had to leave Jesus to please her people but she could not whole heartedly embrace Hindu religion. Instead she was filled with guilt for not following her inborn Christian religion. And in this birth she is born in Hindu family where she is taught to reject any other God. In her past life He is the one whom she had wanted to give proofs of His presence.  Now when in this life she started going  deeper in her mind  , her last life’s desire to meet Jesus was coming  true and she sees Him standing at far away place but her conscious mind is not ready to accept him and she blocks this vision by creating darkness . She gets frightened to see the darkness there. She has been always in confusion and trying to seek approval from others at the cost of her own souls desire .That is why in this life when people talk about her inefficiency, she wants to show them even  by dieing so that then at least they will realize her importance .now when she is getting healed and desire to get well and not undergo operation ,which she fear might make her more vulnerable to depend on others due to restricted life . She has to prove to others at every step that she is cured completely without operation. She is waiting for approval of others even when she is herself confident that she is cured.